Trying Days

Ever have a 'calgon take me away' day? Yep. That would be today for me. Constant chaos from the moment I awoke until now, when I'm desperately awaiting the moment that I can lay my head on that pillow and drift off into nothingness.

So in my first blog I gave a basic script of what my life had and has been since I turned 18. For some reason tonight I feel like taking a step back in time to the 'beginning' or what I know of it. Hope you can bear with me through it. lol

I was conceived out of wedlock, pushing my parents into making a hasty decision to marry. They named me after my great grandmother Lorraine. Hate the name, but I'll live. They made cassette tapes as I grew of me learning to talk. I found it hilarious that one of the first words out of my mouth was beer. My dad taught me that one, go figure. Then my brother James can along. He was only with us a short four months before he passed away. He was found by my mother in the living room...gone. I can still remember hiding under my parents bed and my dad attempting to coax me out. Funny how you remember the strangest things during times of crisis. His death was particularly difficult on my mother because she had just found out she was pregnant with my sister, but life must go on.

I think I shall end it there for this evening and continue soon. My son has FINALLY gone to sleep and after I unwind from this whirlwind of a day it will be my turn.

Goodnight to all!

Greet and meet....

So here I am to rant about crap in my life just like all the others. I figured I would start off by a little introduction about myself. At 19 I had my first child with what i though was the love of my life. (side note to all you youngsters that think you are in love...WAIT to make sure...like til you're at least 25 lol) So I digress...my oldest son is now thirteen. MY 'love of my life' and I were married and had a second child. He lived to be a day shy of three months and died from SUDI. A future blog will explain that load of crap. Anyways...seven months later my jackass 'love of my life' said he wanted a divorce. I felt like a total idiot when i found out that bastard had been cheating on me since before we even got married. So much for 'love'. Once again that is something I will rant about later.

Years later I met another man that I became engaged to and went on to have a child with. He left when my son was eight months old and hasn't seen him since. So here I sit a single mother of three (if you want to get technical 2). My oldest is 13 now and my youngest is 5. I have two years of college behind me towards a nursing degree and am fighting off illness so i can finish out my degree and work towards a much better life.

So now that you have the synopsis of my life I should let you know what this blog will be about. I will talk about past experiences and what I've learned from them, current experiences and how i interpret them, and the future and what I feel it holds. There will be laughter, there will be tears, and the anger and frustration will flow right along with it all.

Anyone who follows me on here, I hope you have the ambition and drive to never be afraid to express yourself and feel more than welcome to comment!

Nice to meet all of you and I look forward to taking on each trial and tribulation as it comes!